Primal Battle: Centaur vs Minotaur
UGO asks Neil Gaiman, Ozzy Osbourne, Clive Barker, Brian Posehn, Tiger Woods and many others what may be the burning question of our times: Who would in in a fight: a minotaur armed with a trident or a centaur armed with a crossbow?. We’re betting on the centaur because they have TWO eyes.
10/25/07 at 8:31 am
Both of them have 2 eyes (Centaur with the head of a man and Minotaur with the head of a bull)…you’re thinking of a Cyclops. Mayhaps?
10/25/07 at 8:50 am
Yeah, they both have two eyes, but still…wouldn’t you think that an anatomically correct Minotaur, being bull-headed (ha!), would have its eyes on the side of its head whereas the centaur would have the evolutionary advantage of forward-facing eyes and so would have better depth perception?
10/25/07 at 10:22 am
A centaur has a human mind AND a weapon which can be fired from a distance. If inside the Labyrinth, with close quarters, the match is even. Flaming arrows might help.
10/25/07 at 11:46 am
The fans would win.
10/25/07 at 1:38 pm
Ozzy has the guts to say what was written all over Tiger Woods’ face!
10/25/07 at 1:46 pm
…although Richard Kind’s answer makes the most Hollywood sense.
10/25/07 at 4:24 pm
[…] Primal Battle: Centaur vs Minotaur from THE BEAT […]
10/26/07 at 12:36 am
Hmm..that’s hard to say *exposes geekiness*.
Vs. a normal AD&D Minotaur, I’d give it to the Centaur (using anything other than a hand crossbow w/ normal bolts).
Vs. a bloodsea Minotaur from Dragonlance (which is larger, and more intelligent) I’d give it to the Mino.
:)
10/26/07 at 9:29 am
Why wouldn’t a minotaur have two eyes? Is he supposed to be a pirate minotaur or something?
10/26/07 at 2:10 pm
I would totally pay to see pirate minotaurs.
10/28/07 at 5:58 pm
There has to be a Dragonlance novel out there somewhere with pirate minotaurs…
10/29/07 at 4:57 am
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL ON!
CENTAUR TO WIN HANDS DOWN.
MINOTAUR IS LIKE A WILD STUPID ANIMAL.
CENTAUR HAS BOTH SPEED AND RANGE.
IF YOU SAY OTHERWISE I WILL KILL YOUR FAMILY WITH BOLTS TO BE IRONIC.
10/29/07 at 5:00 am
Well I’m Mike and i’m stupid and ignorant and therefore think that a Minotaur will win. DUHHHHH
05/23/09 at 4:50 pm
minotaur would win because any type of crossbow takes a while to reload. Even people who are skilled with crossbows can only shoot about 6 in a minute.
Here’s what would happen: The minotaur would charge and the centaur would fire a bolt at his chest. Since the minotaur has such a high pain threshold he would only be slowed down for a few seconds. While the centaur is reloading the minotaur comes extremely close. The centaur then stops screwing around with his cross bow and attempts to kick the minotaur with his hoof. ONce again the minotaur takes the pain and drives his trident through the centaur.
Although if the centaur gets his first shot in the head, then the centaur may win.