The flag has the wrong number of stripes.

kdb

All the yuks and guffaws can come once readers know what they are reading about, but even the picture has no info on what the book is named. If I saw this in my read pile, I’d pitch it, not knowing what it was supposed to be. On THIRD reading I figured out the title as being “This January” instead of that being WHEN it was coming out.

It may be boring to do this, but I think it’s truthful that buyers and reviewers are very busy people, so why risk having them trash your piece because you didn’t have it in a readable, simple to skim format?

All the yuks and guffaws can come once readers know what they are reading about, but even the picture has no info on what the book is named. If I saw this in my read pile, I’d pitch it, not knowing what it was supposed to be. On THIRD reading I figured out the title as being “This January” instead of that being WHEN it was coming out.

It may be boring to do this, but I think it’s truthful that buyers and reviewers are very busy people, so why risk having them trash your piece because you didn’t have it in a readable, simple to skim format?

All the yuks and guffaws can come once readers know what they are reading about, but even the picture has no info on what the book is named. If I saw this in my read pile, I’d pitch it, not knowing what it was supposed to be. On THIRD reading I figured out the title as being “This January” instead of that being WHEN it was coming out.

It may be boring to do this, but I think it’s truthful that buyers and reviewers are very busy people, so why risk having them trash your piece because you didn’t have it in a readable, simple to skim format?

There’s also the subject/verb agreement in the first sentence of the second paragraph (”The film and comic series is described…” should be “…are described…”) and the wayward comma after “as”

Depedning on whether “attack” is meant as a verb or a noun, the apostrophe in “SEE terrifying rock creature’s attack!” should either be removed (or the line rewritten as “SEE the terrifying rock creatures’ attack!”

There should be a question mark after the rhetorical question “what else could you ask for in a comic”

I believe the comma should come inside the quotation mark in the quote that ends “…fun stuff to draw”, said John Polacek” (But, admittedly, I’ve always been bad about comma placement with regard to parentheses and quotation marks.)

You know, for as much heat as Bluewater got for the numbers of stripes on their Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin covers, their error-ridden press-release writing style is in some ways even more disturbing. I don’t wish bad things for their projects, but seeing how unprofessional these releases are makes it difficult to wish them well…

Given the nature of the press release (drive-in sci-fi comics adapation), all sentences should end in exclamation points or question marks! (This is the first rule Disney comics copy editors learn.)

I cheated and ran it through MS Word. It didn’t catch many mistakes, but says the last sentence (”must be seen to be believed!”) is in the passive voice. Not an English major, but that sounds bad for an exciting press release.

Some of the “its” should be “it’s”. The first paragraph ends with a fragment, which kills the excitement theme that the PR is hoping to build. For example: “Written by Jason Schultz and Darren G. Davis and penciled by John Polacek, this comic blah blah blah…”

“We have seen what they have done with the Ray Harryhausen brand and can’t wait to see what they do with some of our films.”
Does this mean there are some films they want to prevent Bluewater from adapting?

And that there is little mention of the “team” and how well the “team” is performing, and how each and every one of them had dreamed in Technicolor and Vistavision about working together in a boffo Todd-AO production like this one.

Monkeys. You can always ask for more monkeys.

Pretty lame artwork - I would have sent a lobbycard styled piece of art with the full title treatment.

A pretentious press release…oh right, this is comics.

HEY! Happy Halloween everybody! What are dressing up as? I’m playing up the whole Twilight angle for my students, and being a slowly paced, non-eventful, vampire.