No biography of Patrick McGoohan is complete without mentioning THE THREE LIVES OF THOMASINA, and The Beat is no exception. The movie was on Hallmark the other day. We DVR’d for later viewing and, wow, was this full of surprises. A movie about a lovable tot who dresses her kitty in a bonnet? Yes, but also, in the Disney tradition, a gut-wrenching exploration of what happens when beloved pets die! Crying, tantrums, turning against family. I have vague memories of watching this movie as a kid and the scenes of Mary and [SPOILER] her dead cat must have turned me into a quivering puddle.

Everyone mentions how good McGoohan, Susan Hampshire and future Poppins poppets Karen Dotrice and Matthew Garber are, but my praise is reserved for Thomasina herself. This cat is the Meryl Streep of feline thespians — no kitty has ever displayed such range on film. Plus technically, it’s a marvel. There are goddam TRACKING SHOTS of the cat! Running out a door and up a tree; sneaking through a market, looking to see if anyone is around, then darting forward to grab a tasty fish! How in the hell did they do it?

There are some signs that this may have been a pre-Humane Society approved film. I don’t want to know how they did shots of Thomasina falling through limbo over and over, claws splayed, hind legs twisting. Or how she stayed so docile while wearing a bonnet, sitting in a baby carriage and talking to a German shepherd. Cats are notoriously difficult to work with on film, part of the reason there are so few of them in cinema, at least compared to dogs. Cats had to wait for YouTube to come along to become the stars they were always meant to be.

Thomasina also rectifies (along with THAT DARN CAT! and the rather feeble ARISTOCATS) Disney’s anti-cat bias that really only ended with THE LION KING. Figaro aside, cats in Disney films were usually sneaky, tricky and awful — Lucifer, Si and Am, the Cheshire Cat.

Except for Bagheera. He was cool.

There is much else to love here — rugged Scottish scenery creatively used in matte shots, English actors who show they are Scottish by saying “Aye” and “Och” every once in a while; a scene where a child wrestles a wounded badger into a blanket. And did we mention Patrick McGoohan in jodhpurs? Anyway if you are looking for a well shot family film that will first sadden the shit out of, then delight your children, THE THREE LIVES OF THOMASINA should do the trick.

By Mark Coale

Sure, we published our first issue in [cough] years and it was great to see old friends and discuss not being able to watch either the England or US matches with FMB, but can anything really top finding this book in a 50-cent bin?

So great for all the wrong reasons.

Okay, this time we mean it.

As October dawns, we’re looking to start another “21 Days of Halloween” art festival here, so if you have some Halloweenish art you’d like to let us post here, drop us a line at the usual place. Last year, we got some AWESOME stuff, and we’re definitely in the mood for this Samhain!

(tip of the hat to the always-right Kurt Busiek who posted this on his Facebook page.)

Over on the Wildstorm blog the other day, they dropped a BOMBSHELL. Gen13 is getting a new artist, a very talented fellow. And his name is Cruddie Torian.

How do you just go on after this kind of thing? Why does Austin Trunick get to be the one who writes the blog post called Meet Cruddie Torian? After the last few weeks, we could just say that over and over and again for hours…and in fact, we may already have done so. We haven’t been so jealous since the post on Ikea Hacker called Spice up your Grundtal.

That reminded us of another recent obsession over here at SBM, the Mets relief pitcher named Lance Broadway.

Lance Broadway. How does this happen???

Mr. Broadway is a former prospect in the Chicago White Sox organization and, sadly, has been unimpressive for the Mets thus far with 6 appearances and an ERA of 6.00. Oops.

But, imagine if Lance Broadway and Cruddie Torian teamed up to fight crime! Cruddie & Lance. Now that is the sort of thing that gets attention, that has potential. They could just go spice up their grundtals and everything would fall into place.
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UPDATE: At The Wrap, a THR insider  disputes the THR online only story, although, saying they’ll stick around through the lucrative Awards season isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement for the future of the print edition.

Nikki Finke reports some changes for the Hollywood trades: Variety is going back behind a paywall online and THR (The Hollywood Reporter) is going online only. Information delivery evolves yet again.

This news unlocks some memories. Way back in the day, one of my first jobs was at The Hollywood Reporter — not, as some might guess, as a cub reporter but in the advertising department. My job consisted mainly — for the first few weeks, at least — of sending telexes and cutting people off on the phone, and it never really got any easier. The ad department was a madhouse, full of outsized personalities who labored under hellish daily deadlines. No one had a cubicle, it was all one giant room, and private moments usually turned into shouting matches as a spectator sport. From all this, I learned the fine points of not crying in front of your boss.

When I first started, THR was notable in that it owned its own printing press. Housed in a crazy quilt building that had once been a men’s haberdashery (and had the ornate dark woodwork to show it), the printing press was located in the back of the building, right next to the composition dept. where guys in jumpsuits cut film to lay out the paper. As I recall, it was a rotogravure press (although I may just remember it that way because I like the word rotogravure) and the quality was very good, if archaic even then.

The press room was an incredibly loud and stinky place. The guys who ran the presses were literally ink-stained and they rarely came out front, and when they did, they smelled of chemicals. (We were amazed when one of the women from the layout dept. married one of the pressmen; this was the first time I heard the phrase “There’s a lid for every pot” used in such a context.) Once in a while I would have to go back there to deliver late ad copy or something, and I’d track some of the smell back to my desk, or imagined it anyway. But it was still a kind of romantic notion that we were creating a newspaper from soup to nuts under one roof — from the reporters running out to screenings to those of us taking down the “For Your Consideration” ads, to composition to the press to the loading dock, where each day bundles of paper would be picked up for delivery, in the early hours, to land on some studio mogul’s desk each morning, along with Variety.

After Billboard bought the Reporter in 1988, the printing press was quickly sold and dismantled — there was no point to owning your press any more, with the costs of paper and printing so cheap at a big dedicated house. THR moved to a very rudimentary computer typesetting system called CTS that we all figured stood for “creates total shit” because it was a nightmare to deal with. The Reporter was never really cutting edge in technology.

The press room was converted to a lunch room, with a lone table and a tattered brown leather sofa. Most afternoons the music editor could be found fast asleep on this sofa, after another late night out at the Rainbow. (The Reporter art staff consisted mostly of people in bands, and it’s a miracle most of them even made it in to work — I know because I was usually there when they played.)

Although such knowledge is useless these days, working at the Reporter did give me a basic grounding in production that helped me navigate all kinds of turmoil during my print days. I learned a lot about repro and what could go wrong, and dealing with all kinds of production people and learning their concerns helped me solve problems when they arose. I learned a lot about four- and five-color printing, live areas, bleeds, specing ads from scratch and PMS colors, nitty gritty shit that’s all taken care of by pressing the return key these days. I also learned the flux, exhaustion and exhilaration of the daily news cycle, something that I’ve carried right through to blogging.

Now, I know HTML. And so does THR.

We have learned that folks would rather argue about “journalism” than talk about a picture of Spider-Man shooting webbing out his ass.

That really surprised me, frankly.

Press releases, we get press releases. By the bushel. And a lot of times we just skim. But then, sometimes, some thing catches our eye.

Look, this could have been anyone. Us, even.

But, I guess this means that Archie isn’t marrying Betty OR Veronica, but POISON IVY, right? And a garden weasel is gonna be the best man! That is, if the wedding is broken up when ORTHO MAN attacks! One things for sure, Archie is going to need to wear knee pads!

Do you think that after he’s married, Archie is going to go on the trowel for other girls?

Okay…that’s all I got. Sorry.

This mystery art has been making the rounds online…and in honor of the All-Star break in baseball, we approve…of whatever it is.

Re our discussion yesterday of GHOSTBUSTERS 2, which The Beat found disappointing, punk rock band Art Brut frontman and comics fan Eddie Argos is apparently among those who watched GHOSTBUSTERS on Sunday, and had this to Tweet:

If you don’t like Ghostbusters 2, I don’t like you.

Unless your my girlfriend. In which case I’ll forgive you for falling asleep, drink your wine and (when its finished) carry you to bed.

If our Twitter feed is to be believed, we follow a very high percentage of people who are interested in a) watching GHOSTBUSTERS or b) purchasing the new GHOSTBUSTERS on Blu-ray or c) purchasing the new GHOSTBUSTERS video game. Perhaps this brain trust could help us answer why GHOSTBUSTERS was so great and GHOSTBUSTERS 2 is probably the lamest sequel to a beloved film ever. Our own theory? Ivan Reitman is just a very bad director.

Speaking of Twitter, one of those who was engaged in the GHOSTBUSTERS hunt was Geoff Johns, whose recent Twitterings are showcasing his storytelling skills in a stunning way. Last night’s tale of a stolen bicycle, a large slurpee and a friendly 7-11 clerk should have come with a Danny Elfman soundtrack.

As for other Twitterings, the comics world quite rightly rallied with support when Len Wein’s house sustained a serious fire…will they be as supportive for his latest setback?:

Off to a Father’s Day brunch w/@mcvalada and son. Starting to think today’s the day I’m gonna pass the kidney stone. Suspense mounts.

Technorati Tags: Twitter

We misplaced the link to Tom Spurgeon’s always indispensable tips for enjoying San Diego Comic-Con. Every tip has much wisdom, but we thought we’d spotlight this one:

Tip #15. Get Your Pre-Convention Stuff Done One Full Week In Advance
If you’re preparing anything at all for the show — resumes, business cards, art to sell, opening lines, books to sell, art to show, scripts to pass around, your camera, a freelance assignment — get everything done by July 15. This gives you a day or two leeway if something is screwed up, but it also means you won’t be a basket case when you arrive on the convention floor because you stayed up for 37 hours stapling your mini-comic biography of Phil Seuling. Forget entirely getting something done while you’re there. It’s not convenient and you’ll find 10,000 excuses to skip it.

So true. Over the years we remember talking to artists who would go back to their rooms to ink, or writers who were doing some script punch-up in their spare time. Or, ourselves, running back and forth to the Kinko’s in the lobby to make some last minute (and expensive) copies of something we should have done the week before. Such foolishness is no longer allowed.

Also, hasn’t everyone learned that having the printer air-ship the copies to the con at the last minute, just isn’t a good idea? How many times have we seen people standing wryly before an empty table explaining that “The issues didn’t get here from the printer.” EVERY CON!!!! That’s money you left on the table, people, money lost for the shipping, and money lost for missed sales. Ahead of time means “ahead of time”, not “at the con.”

Was talking to a good friend the other day, one I had worked with back in my magazine publishing days. (I worked at various publications, trade and consumer, for several years, including a long stint at Disney Adventures.) He reported that he and just about everyone I had worked with on staff have been laid off from their current jobs at various magazines. One of them just up and moved to Florida with the advice, “Go back to school and look for a new line of work.” He also said he had answered an online ad for a Art Director job and been told that there had been 550 applications for this single post.

It goes without saying that In This Economy, in every field, even people who are at the top of their game are now struggling, It hadn’t previously occurred to me, though, that an entire class of professions is being swept away, as surely as the people who used to set hot type no longer exist. Not necessarily creators, but the people who put things together, photo editors, page layout people.

Will they find new ways to make a living aggregating Twitter content, I wonder?

Art by N.C. Wyeth.

We weren’t entirely hep to what Rich Johnston was talking about the other day, but the Coventry Telegraph has made an image that even a dullard could interpret and it seems that Green Lantern is making crop circles! Out of oilseed rape! (please, no Women in Refrigerators comments.)

Over at Comic Book Resources, Rich Johnston asks: “Is this the first PR stunt in preparation for the Green Lantern movie?”

But creating the circle in a bright yellow field would once have been an impossible feat for the superhero, who is part of an interstellar corp of ring-bearers.

In the past, Green Lantern’s energy-emitting ring was powerless against anything yellow, such as the rape flowers, although this flaw has since been overcome by wearer Hal Jordan.

Very suspicious. Like the article merging two directors’ names into one “Martin Greengrass.” (It’s Martin CAMPBELL who is slated to direct the GREEN LANTERN film later this year. The original article will raise suspicions that something funny is going on to DefCon 1.

We managed to move our office, but were so appalled by the amount of stuff that we had accumulated that we just moved it all so we can sit and stare at it in horror.

We did, however uncover some surplus comics, so look for some cool giveaways here at Stately Beat Manor over the next few days!

We are still way behind opening our email, so if you have recently written to us and not gotten a response, please be patient. Apologies. Keep those tips coming in!

Today’s cover comes from GIRLS LOVE STORIES, published by DC from 1949 until 1972. We like this one because these two hooligans have evidently just struck a bargain over who gets to watch a shirtless hunk pitch hay all day. They were forced to do this because in olden days, THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER did not exist. But it is true that back in the ’50s, this was the kind of thing that girls fought over, and when they did, they turned up their shirt collars so they looked both snappy and tragic. They also created elaborate pic-a-nick baskets to hurl at each other during disagreements. Truly, there is much to be learned from this comic book cover!

Flickr and Twitter are pretty much the Infinite Monkey Theory in actual practice–ultimate ephemeral randomness, projected from the brains of a representative sampling that approaches the average. And now you can prove it by turning these two movable zeitgeists into comics via a randomizer!

Infinite Monkey Comics takes a similar approach, however with less deliberation (and even fewer humans), and presents you with a random image from Flickr superimposed with some random text off of Twitter based on keywords of your choosing.

We typed in “toast ” and “spree” and got the masterpiece seen above. (Click for a larger image.)

You know how when you are painting a watercolor and you rinse your brush in the water and eventually all the colors blend in and you get a greyish/brownish/reddish muck? The no-color that is all colors? It is possible we have achieved that, but with much more effort.

Despite increasingly cranky Bruce Campbell’s insistence that he doesn’t want to make EVIL DEAD 4, director Sam Raimi was all over SXSW saying that he’s up for it:

However, speaking to Sam Raimi at SXSW on the eve of the premiere of his new film, “Drag Me To Hell,” the director didn’t seem worried in the least and in fact laughed off Campbell’s remarks and insisted the actor would still be onboard whenever they can find time to revisit the beloved cult and campy horror classics.

“He can dream all he wants. He’s trying to get out of getting back in shape,” he smiled. “I’m going to kick his butt in shape. I’m gonna say ‘get back in the chainsaw!’”

Of course just WHEN this might happen with Raimi committed to making SPIDEY 4 for a few years yet is questionable…but if Sam believes, we believe.

Religiously patrolling our comment section as we do, in between all the spammers who think this is an excellent site and would love to talk to my webmaster — it was just what they were looking for — we’ve noticed that our peanut gallery is turning into more of an Ensure gallery, as crotchety old folks argue about newfangled devices like the ballpoint pen and what it will mean for the comical picture book industry.

Now, being something of a cranky old coot in training ourselves, we can see how easy it is to fall into this trap. But it is tiresome! Come now, people, wake up and smell Gears of War! While it’s our duty as host to attempt some manner of timeliness, we’re going to be more vigilant and punitive about pointless whining and moaning. Step lively, now!

We can’t be the only people who detest the first week of Daylight Savings Time? Not for political reasons, but just because? Admittedly, the extra daylight is a boon, marking the end of the Seasonal Affective Disorder Season and the coming of Spring Coat Season and eventually Rooftop Sangria Season.

And what about that Corky? Will he be eaten by the giant monster octopus? A “thrilling 3-part novel”? Would that be what we now call a “graphic book”?

Questions….questions…

Have you heard about this WATCHMEN movie that’s coming out? We’re not sure what it’s about, but it looks kind of loud.

This interview with the director, Zack Snyder, is interesting. Did you know he has six kids? How did that happen? Anyway, apparently this WATCHMEN movie is the LAST WORD in the superhero movie. Or that’s what Snyder says, anyway. About time!

Via Jonathan Ross’s Twitter

Even Bono thinks Clive Owen is hot, evidently.

Sorry we disappeared yesterday. We had chores to do.

BTW, isn’t a shame that comics don’t have word balloons on the covers any more?

William Shatner, beloved blowhard, pitchman, voice-over actor, and the man who made the phrase “Get a life!” famous as a nerd icon, would like to run for Prime Minister of his native planet, Canada:

The 77-year-old star said: “My intention is to be Prime Minister of Canada, not Governor General, which is mainly a ceremonial position.”

Shatner revealed his lofty ambition in response to a letter from a fan who urged him to put himself forward for the Governor General of Canada.

The Governor General is appointed by the monarch - which in Canada is currently Queen Elizabeth II - to perform the constitutional duties of the sovereign on her behalf.

In his letter, Shatner regretfully added: “I must, with my deepest thanks, turn down your honourable intent to advance me as Governor General. Besides which, I don’t have time to be Governor General.” Despite his busy schedule, the actor is confident he has what it takes to run the country, explaining: “As Prime Minister I can lead Canada into even greater exploits.”

While there is some potential that this is an errant thought and not a planned career change, the idea of the non-aggressive, harmonious people of Canada being led by Captain Kirk does lead down fruitful paths of reverie. One could imagine Kirk and his exploration team landing on Bloor Street, and the ensuing conversation with Spock over the communicator.

“Captain, sensors indicate a Grade 4 civilization, organized around the concept of a sporting competition involving men propelling themselves on ice while striking a small rubber disk with a curved stick. The game usually involves the ritual consumption of a beverage with intoxicating effects by the supporter of each team.”

“Spock, such a peaceful people should be left unaffected by Federation politics.”

“Captain, according to my data, the people of Canada are also known for their attractive women.”

“In that case, I’d better run for Prime Minister.”

I remember summer!

Via Sleestak.

Now that we’ve all woken up, let’s talk meta. Let’s talk THE BLOGGING LIFE AND THE TOOLS THEREOF. The other day Marc-Oliver gave a nice shout out to dedicated daily bloggers, and highlighted Dirk’s truly ghastly schedule, which sometimes requires him to wake up at 10 pm. Ours isn’t that bad — for some reason our best hours for blogging are between midnight and 4ish, but we can’t do the vampire thing — we have to be up well before noon. We dunno how Tom does it, but once we were on a panel together and he said it took him an hour or so to do TCR, which, given his great powers of focus and discipline (which we lack), we can see.
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